Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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