Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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