Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my liver is dry heaving
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
