pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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