lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
