That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
