Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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