I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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