Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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