can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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