Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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