I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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