i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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