Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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