I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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