Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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