I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Found your dick twin last night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
