Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
