Kiss
Puke
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
