he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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