how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
