who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
