i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
