Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
