what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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