...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
