I am full of burrito and curiosity
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
