Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
