the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
