I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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