I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
