is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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