I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
