I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
