Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
