we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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