I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
