At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
