I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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