I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
