I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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