I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
