she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
