We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize