I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
