Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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