i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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