i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
