Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
