ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
