so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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