i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
