There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize