If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
