does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
