So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
