Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
