i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
