I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
