I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
