dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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