i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
