I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
