I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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