It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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