dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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