So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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