Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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